Overcome by despairing apathy, Lee desperately seeks answers to how her Favourite Band Has Been Ruined Forever.
When I first discovered Muse three years ago, I felt foolish. I had been wondering the music universe without a compass for years. A steady childhood diet of Queen and T Rex, followed by a somewhat unnutritional yet still ultimately satisfying coming of age period dining on only the worst derivative eurotrash pop and boyband flavours, I felt like I had come home when I found Muse and I felt like a fool for not discovering them earlier. It took a devastating breakup and a sulking, sweeping change from Pink, Delta Goodrem and Matchbox 20 to the national Alternative youth station, Triple J, for me to finally find my mystical musical match. I heard Knights of Cydonia on breakfast radio and I was transfixed. After some quick Youtubing (back in the days before the Great Warner Ripdown), and a quick exclamatory post on my livejournal, I immediately bought the entire back catalogue. Ridiculous guitar theatrics? Check. Glittering symphonic ensembles? Check. Pianoriffic pandemonium? Double check. It was the glorious marriage of britpop with glamrock and I embraced it. I was a little late to the Muse game but it didn’t matter. I’ve always been a musical dag, my playlist still contains a little too much Britney, but I felt like I was finally acquiring some cred.
Matthew Bellamy and friends could do no wrong. I saw them live and it felt like a pilgrimage to holy Mecca. It was on the 11th of November 2007 at the Supreme Court Gardens and I had mostly found my own kind: it looked a little like the leftovers from a comic convention, and all the Muse nerds were very orderly. It was just nice. It was epic, but it was nice.
One day I was hit up by some dude on MySpace. He seemed to like Muse as well, and lived down the road. That was nice. Boy Muser and I bonded over our love for Bellamy and his Bros. He had a bit more Muse cred than me and actually wore a faded Absolution t-shirt on our first meeting, and had seen them live quite a few more times than me. Over a year later and we have been going out for over 6 months. It’s nice.
But something has gone wrong. Terribly wrong. Muse’s new album came out. Boy Muser didn’t like it so much. I tried to like it. I did. I tried, but something has soured my relationship with the Teignmouth rockers, and I know what it is.
Stephanie Meyer.
” I am in your debt, rock gods of Muse, for yet another inspiring album. Thank you for continuing to create my favorite writing music. “
Oh dear.
I was aware of the first Twilight book as it was seeming to cause a bit of a stir amongst some of my reader friends. I expressed a desire to read it: the cover looked pretty and I was down for a little supernatural chicklit- it was slightly out of my comfort zone but I’m a pretty open minded reader, especially if something came packaged with pre-approval and sequels. I quite enjoyed the book, but it was not the poignant, moving read I expected it to be. I ploughed through it, it was a page turner- but much in the same way the Babysitter’s Club books are. I didn’t mind a bit of bubblegum and the characters were a little insipid, but it was also a teen novel (despite seemingly being marketed otherwise) and I accepted it as such. I was as yet unaware of her swooning dedications, and published playlists, that are now associated with the sequels.
I didn’t think anything of it until things got a little out of hand. A little ‘Robert Pattinson’ out of hand. I’m sure you all know the rest.
“Meyer also weaves contrast, irony, symbolism and literary references into the Forks saga. She does it with subtlety and skill. The arc of the series as represented in the celestial bodies of the titles is no less than breathtaking.” – unnamed blogger
I knew something was up when there were some strange comments being posted in the Muse last.fm profile page. Some nonsense about the Twilight soundtrack, Stephanie Meyer’s fangirling, abusive threats to some people called ‘Twihards’ and othersuch business. What was going on? On the Muse forums, threats were being made to ‘new’ fans of Muse. Surely new fans for a band is a good thing? Well I would have thought so.
Suddenly, it seemed like Muse were everywhere. I felt a little possessive, and a little bewildered- suddenly all these new Musers were coming out of the closet. It went from knowing 2 livejournal friends who were into them to 15. Facebook was abuzz with gleeful, praiseful reviews of their latest offering, The Resistance. I couldn’t handle the ‘takeover’ of my exclusive, special band that most mainstream FM listeners had never heard of, this was total overdose! I felt lost, frustrated, scared. So short a time I had with Muse, and I felt like it had been snatched from me.
But surely, the music is all that matters. But as I was to find out, perhaps it is not so.
I am yet to listen to the album objectively. Boy Muser was condemning, which broke my heart. I like two songs on the whole album people, two. I want to love them all! I want to listen to it on repeat in the dark, and be swept up in the unicorn-glittery madness all over again like I was for Black Holes and Revelations. I want to hear epic, edgy guitar riffs like on Origins of Symmetry. I want a clichéd, piano-driven anthem of fluffy chaos that nerd boys can conduct YouTube WoW videos to, like on Absolution. But all I got was some clarinet and some slap bass. There was supposed to be a ’symphonic monster’, and I rubbed my hands in anticipatory glee as Twitter and the Muselive forums bubbled with Muse-y speculation, but all I got was a bit of a ’symphonic meh’. The album was a bit of fun, but it has mostly stayed in it’s cardboard (cardboard!) case since I got it. I haven’t even watched the making of DVD. A year ago, this would have been blasphemy! There was only one thing to do: I put myself on Muse Detox.
And I will prove that I am not prejudiced against terrible vampire fiction infiltrating the mystique of my fangirlish desires. In fact, my favourite band when I was 13 was Savage Garden- and they named themselves after something out of an Anne Rice novel, or something (I think).
It’s rumoured that Matt Bellamy acquired his wardrobe at a certain garage sale in London of a washed out Australian 90’s popstar- and no ladies and gentlemen, it wasn’t Peter Andre.
Fun fact: did you know Daniel is now married to Kathleen of ‘original’ High 5 fame, Australian readers? Darren is still making awesome pop music, but Australia has forgotten Savage Garden and swept their legacy (a record 10 ARIAs at one awards show) under the carpet. Shame, Australia, Shame.
In the 90s, we knew all about vampires. Anne Rice filled goths schoolbags, and I’m pretty sure there is actual sex and bloodsucking in those books, but don’t quote me on that, I haven’t read the things (maybe I should). Oh, and there was that whole Buffy thing.
Boy Muser and I came up with a theory- there is the supernatural pop culture cycle. Vampires (Interview with a Vampire, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), witches (The Craft, Practical Magic, Charmed, Sabrina), zombies (Resident Evil, 28 Days Later, zombie marches on YouTube). Vampires… and next witches will be back in. So this will all blow over and the Twimums will dust off their pentacles, crystals and book of shadows which have been sitting in the bottom drawer since 2002.
MUSE-ically, the Twifans stole everything from me. Just like they will fill the D at the Big Day Out- my whole day ruined as I will be wholly concentrating on not feeling unreasonably bitter. There is no doubt that the soundtracks have a little indie cred- New Moon especially. I would put it on if I wanted to go to sleep. But Muse should be ashamed of themselves for the ‘remix’ offering of ‘I Belong To You’. It looks like they spent half an hour chucking some naff guitar over the top of it- and this is my favourite song from their new album.
Friends, before you commiserate me and my woes, stop. I know very well that I should bloody well get over it. Boy Muser is right, genius can’t get it right every time. And in years to come, when the movies are finally all made and this all blows over, maybe I will be able to quietly listen to Muse again, like the days of yore.
But watch out. Your favourite musical artist could be next.
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